8 Steps for a Successful Date

I recently went on a trip to the Baltic, and in Lithuania I met a girl called Audra, who was a little bit naughty, but in a good way.

Let me give you an example: When we went to a Jazz Club called Kurpiai, I noticed a beautiful Lithuanian girl who was flirting (or being flirted to, I’m sometimes not sure about this) with an older Danish guy. They were speaking English, the international language of love (ahum) and it was funny to observe how these two strangers were following the 8 steps for a successful date, as written in the book: “8 steps for a successful date”.

Step 1: establish eye-contact
Step 2: talk to her
Step 3: ask her name
Step 4: touch her accidentally
Step 5: ask her how to say ‘good day’ in Lithuanian
Step 6: ask her how to say ‘I love you’ in Lithuanian
Step 7: stroke her hair, or chin, or cheek
Step 8: pay and ask if she wants to go somewhere else, where they could talk

Of course Audra and I could not comment on these people out loud, so she devised a great way of communication: in Lithuanian bars you have a lot of napkins. I mean, literally a whole bunch. So we wrote all our thoughts, comments and naughty ideas on these napkins. I remember now that Audra took these napkins with her. I’m sure she’ll blackmail me one day with them ;-).
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