Alone again, naturally - Part 2

this article was first published in December 2004

About a year ago my relationship with R. ended. Six months later we were back together. We have known each other for 3 years now, and I guess we broke up at least 12 times, but got back again for different reasons.

But last week we broke up again, and this time it's for real. We had so little in common that it is a miracle that we survived so long. We were the textbook example of "opposites attract". She was 10 years older, had no interest whatsoever in my world, she liked to dance tango and salsa (which I don't) and when we went to the cinema she fell asleep if I chose the movie. I like my independence but she was constantly giving up hers.

You see, the main attraction in our relationship was the way we tried to make these differences work. In the end, it divided us.

The last three days I have locked myself up in my room, translating non-stop. And now I don't know where to go from here.
The plans we made for Xmas & New Year, the dinner invitations, the promises we both made to other people...everything is cancelled.
And now I'm alone again. And lonely.

It reminds me of a saying by Karl Kraus : "One's need for loneliness is not satisfied if one sits at a table alone. There must be empty chairs as well."